Longmont Potion Castle 8 (2011)

Longmont Potion Castle 8

Track 14: Army Recruiters

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Last modified: 2025-02-14T11:41:42
Model used: distil-whisper/distil-large-v3
Subtitles adjusted? false




  • 1 -- SPEAKER_02: This is the U.S. Army Recruiting Station.
  • 2 -- SPEAKER_02: I'm not going to help you.
  • 3 -- SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
  • 4 -- SPEAKER_00: Looking to enroll here.
  • 5 -- SPEAKER_02: Looking to enlist?
  • 6 -- None: Yeah.
  • 7 -- SPEAKER_02: Hey, sir, I think you called the other day.
  • 8 -- SPEAKER_02: What I do is I set up an interview.
  • 9 -- SPEAKER_02: Okay, you come in, we determine your qualifications.
  • 10 -- SPEAKER_02: I talk about the features and benefits of the program.
  • 11 -- SPEAKER_02: If we have a match there, we got something you like, and I find out you're qualified.
  • 12 -- SPEAKER_02: Then we talk next step.
  • 13 -- SPEAKER_02: Honestly, I don't have enough.
  • 14 -- SPEAKER_02: time on the phone because I'm in the middle of enlisting somebody right now.
  • 15 -- SPEAKER_00: Let me let you in on what I do, which is perform in battle.
  • 16 -- SPEAKER_00: Okay.
  • 17 -- SPEAKER_00: I'm shaved.
  • 18 -- SPEAKER_00: I'm ready for battle.
  • 19 -- SPEAKER_02: Gotcha.
  • 20 -- SPEAKER_02: Gotcha.
  • 21 -- SPEAKER_02: We still have to determine your qualifications, sir.
  • 22 -- SPEAKER_02: All right.
  • 23 -- SPEAKER_02: Listen, I'd love to entertain you, sir, but I really have to get going, all right?
  • 24 -- SPEAKER_00: It's really a bad time for me.
  • 25 -- SPEAKER_00: Let me give you my email address.
  • 26 -- SPEAKER_00: Okay.
  • 27 -- SPEAKER_00: Then we'll see what you can do, okay?
  • 28 -- SPEAKER_00: And I'll give you.
  • 29 -- SPEAKER_00: I'll give you a little time to get prepared and go and grab a pan or something else.
  • 30 -- SPEAKER_02: Hopefully I'm worthy, sir.
  • 31 -- SPEAKER_01: Go ahead.
  • 32 -- SPEAKER_00: What's your email address?
  • 33 -- SPEAKER_01: It's, uh, it's stephen.
  • 34 -- SPEAKER_01: dot, leet, dot army, dot mill.
  • 35 -- SPEAKER_00: I'm going to send a picture, a me whooping some ass.
  • 36 -- SPEAKER_00: All right.
  • 37 -- SPEAKER_00: So when you open it, best to turn the light up, light the room up bright, take a real good look at it.
  • 38 -- SPEAKER_02: Roger, sir.
  • 39 -- SPEAKER_02: All right.
  • 40 -- SPEAKER_00: Because I am going to grab hold of you.
  • 41 -- SPEAKER_00: pretty quick.
  • 42 -- SPEAKER_02: Okay.
  • 43 -- SPEAKER_02: That sounds good.
  • 44 -- SPEAKER_02: I like a challenge.
  • 45 -- SPEAKER_02: I love to fight.
  • 46 -- SPEAKER_02: As a matter of fact, they pay me to fight.
  • 47 -- SPEAKER_02: What's your name?
  • 48 -- SPEAKER_00: My name's Enrique.
  • 49 -- SPEAKER_02: Enrique.
  • 50 -- SPEAKER_02: Okay, gotcha.
  • 51 -- SPEAKER_00: I'm going to get hold of you, and I'm going to shake you loose, fella.
  • 52 -- SPEAKER_02: Sounds good.
  • 53 -- SPEAKER_00: See if you can rise to my level.
  • 54 -- SPEAKER_02: All right.
  • 55 -- SPEAKER_02: Well, hopefully I'll be worthy, like I said.
  • 56 -- SPEAKER_02: I got your number, Enrique.
  • 57 -- SPEAKER_02: I'll give you call.
  • 58 -- SPEAKER_02: All right?
  • 59 -- SPEAKER_02: Got to go.
  • 60 -- SPEAKER_00: I'm going to get back to you about five minutes from now.
  • 61 -- SPEAKER_02: This is the U.S.
  • 62 -- SPEAKER_02: Army Recruiting Station.
  • 63 -- SPEAKER_03: That's going to help you.
  • 64 -- SPEAKER_00: I want to get physical.
  • 65 -- SPEAKER_03: I'm sorry, what's your name?
  • 66 -- SPEAKER_00: Enrique.
  • 67 -- SPEAKER_03: Enrique, huh?
  • 68 -- SPEAKER_03: What do you mean you want to get physical?
  • 69 -- SPEAKER_00: On the battlefield.
  • 70 -- SPEAKER_03: On what battlefield?
  • 71 -- SPEAKER_00: The Saharan battlefield.
  • 72 -- SPEAKER_03: The Saharan battlefield?
  • 73 -- SPEAKER_03: There is no Saharan battlefield, man.
  • 74 -- SPEAKER_00: I want to enlist.
  • 75 -- SPEAKER_03: You want to enlist?
  • 76 -- SPEAKER_03: What do you want to enlist to?
  • 77 -- SPEAKER_00: My fists.
  • 78 -- SPEAKER_03: Your fists?
  • 79 -- SPEAKER_03: You want to enlist to your fists?
  • 80 -- SPEAKER_03: That doesn't.
  • 81 -- SPEAKER_03: make so much sense, Henry Day.
  • 82 -- SPEAKER_00: Put me down on your list so I can get in there.
  • 83 -- SPEAKER_00: Get engaged in the battlefield, dude.
  • 84 -- SPEAKER_03: Get engaged in what battlefield?
  • 85 -- SPEAKER_00: I got discipline, bud.
  • 86 -- SPEAKER_03: Well, I don't think you necessarily have discipline because I'm asking you simple questions,
  • 87 -- SPEAKER_03: Enrique, and you're not giving me straight answers.
  • 88 -- SPEAKER_03: What is it that you want to do?
  • 89 -- SPEAKER_00: Are you a corporal, or?
  • 90 -- SPEAKER_03: Don't worry about who I am, because I'm thinking you're just calling to mess around there,
  • 91 -- SPEAKER_03: Enrique.
  • 92 -- SPEAKER_00: You can bring your form up here, and I'll fill it out.
  • 93 -- SPEAKER_03: I don't think I want to do that, Enrique, because I don't think you're actually being serious
  • 94 -- SPEAKER_03: because you're not answering simple questions.
  • 95 -- SPEAKER_00: I'm ready to get physical with you right now outside.
  • 96 -- SPEAKER_03: Don't have any desire or need to.
  • 97 -- SPEAKER_03: So what are we really talking about there, Enrique?
  • 98 -- SPEAKER_00: It would be a lose win, you mean.
  • 99 -- SPEAKER_03: I win.
  • 100 -- SPEAKER_00: I win.
  • 101 -- SPEAKER_03: You'd win.
  • 102 -- SPEAKER_00: And a paragraph.
  • 103 -- SPEAKER_03: You can go ahead and win all you want, Enrique.
  • 104 -- SPEAKER_03: But what is it that you want to do today?
  • 105 -- SPEAKER_03: Why are we talking on the phone?
  • 106 -- SPEAKER_00: I need to be placed on the ballot.
  • 107 -- SPEAKER_03: I don't think we can do that, Enrique.
  • 108 -- SPEAKER_00: End a story.
  • 109 -- SPEAKER_03: Have you ever been arrested?
  • 110 -- SPEAKER_00: Not in this country.
  • 111 -- SPEAKER_03: Have you, not in this country?
  • 112 -- SPEAKER_03: What country have you been arrested in?
  • 113 -- SPEAKER_00: Is that really relevant, Corporal?
  • 114 -- SPEAKER_03: It is very relevant.
  • 115 -- SPEAKER_03: What country have you been arrested in, Enrique?
  • 116 -- SPEAKER_00: It's in the Netherlands.
  • 117 -- SPEAKER_03: In the Netherlands?
  • 118 -- SPEAKER_03: What were you arrested for, Enrica?
  • 119 -- SPEAKER_00: There was a lot of nude people there.
  • 120 -- SPEAKER_03: So why were you particularly arrested for nudity, Inrika?
  • 121 -- SPEAKER_03: So you were being in.
  • 122 -- SPEAKER_03: Decent public? Indecent nudity?
  • 123 -- SPEAKER_03: Because I'm bored.
  • 124 -- SPEAKER_00: You're going to be indecent for presentation when I'm through with you.
  • 125 -- SPEAKER_03: Is that right?
  • 126 -- SPEAKER_03: Okay.
  • 127 -- SPEAKER_03: I guess I'll be indecent, but...
  • 128 -- SPEAKER_00: Grab hold.
  • 129 -- SPEAKER_00: Grab hold of your neck.
  • 130 -- SPEAKER_00: Grab hold of your neck.
  • 131 -- SPEAKER_03: Have you graduated high school?
  • 132 -- SPEAKER_00: I got an equivalency.
  • 133 -- SPEAKER_03: A GED?
  • 134 -- SPEAKER_03: GEDs are not qualified at this time, Enrique.
  • 135 -- SPEAKER_03: Have you ever had any surgery?
  • 136 -- SPEAKER_00: Not true.
  • 137 -- SPEAKER_03: Have you ever had any surgery?
  • 138 -- SPEAKER_00: Oral surgery.
  • 139 -- SPEAKER_03: Well, what type?
  • 140 -- SPEAKER_00: Oral.
  • 141 -- SPEAKER_03: What type?
  • 142 -- SPEAKER_00: Mouth surgery.
  • 143 -- SPEAKER_03: What type of mouth surgery?
  • 144 -- SPEAKER_00: Lip surgery.
  • 145 -- SPEAKER_03: What did you have done to your lip, Enrique?
  • 146 -- SPEAKER_00: Reconstructive.
  • 147 -- SPEAKER_03: For what, Enrique?
  • 148 -- SPEAKER_00: Fist.
  • 149 -- SPEAKER_03: You got punched.
  • 150 -- SPEAKER_03: How did you get your busted lip in Riquet?
  • 151 -- SPEAKER_00: Lips.
  • 152 -- SPEAKER_00: Two lips. I got two fists for two lips.
  • 153 -- SPEAKER_03: You self-inflicted a wound?
  • 154 -- SPEAKER_00: I'm going to punch your lip.
  • 155 -- SPEAKER_00: You're telling you.
  • 156 -- SPEAKER_03: You self-inflicted a wound?
  • 157 -- SPEAKER_03: How did you hurt your lip, Enrique?
  • 158 -- SPEAKER_00: In the jungles of Namamutu.
  • 159 -- SPEAKER_03: Have you ever been seen by a mental health professional, Enrique?
  • 160 -- SPEAKER_00: Not in this nation.
  • 161 -- SPEAKER_03: What have you been seen for mental health for, Rika?
  • 162 -- SPEAKER_00: What do you?
  • 163 -- SPEAKER_00: you're getting at?
  • 164 -- SPEAKER_03: What have you been seen for mental health, Enrique?
  • 165 -- SPEAKER_00: I was nude the one time, dude.
  • 166 -- SPEAKER_03: And did they prescribe you any medication?
  • 167 -- SPEAKER_00: Yes.
  • 168 -- SPEAKER_03: And when's the last time you stopped taking that medication, Erika?
  • 169 -- SPEAKER_00: Oh, I'm on it.
  • 170 -- SPEAKER_03: Well, if you're currently on medication, Enrique, that's also a disqualifier.
  • 171 -- SPEAKER_03: You guys are so goddamn fucking unprofessional.
  • 172 -- SPEAKER_03: I can't believe it.
  • 173 -- SPEAKER_03: So go fuck yourself.
  • 174 -- SPEAKER_03: All right.
  • 175 -- SPEAKER_03: Unfortunately, you are disqualified as if you join the military.
  • 176 -- SPEAKER_03: I never ordered that.
  • 177 -- None: I don't know.